Everything is happening for us
I’ve been on a mission to put an end to my winter-induced neurosis. I don’t like shitting on Chicago this time of year and having my mood be so dependent on the weather. It’s a tired midwestern trope… I could choose to live somewhere else if it’s THAT bad. I’m not a victim of my own life and my choices. *she tells herself
And yet, I’ve found myself complaining about it extra lately to anyone who would listen, because holy shit, the sun has been MIA for practically the whole month. Apparently we only had one day of sunshine in the first 20 days of 2023? While I’m no scientist, I think it’s safe to say that can’t be the best for our brains? Like, chemically?!?! Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.?
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that venting to an extent can help. TO AN EXTENT. But then when the temporary solace of complaining and commiserating wears off, my solution-oriented brain goes to: what can we do about it? How can we make this better?
These questions lead me to think about what is in my control. You know what is in my control, and completely free? Managing my thoughts. The one mental tool that I’m now reaching for when I’m feeling low: deliberate shifts in consciousness.
Perspective reframes have been saving me from letting my seasonal D get the best of me. I’ve been taking note of my negative brain loops and replacing them with positive ones. The loop that I’ve observed the most whilst in the midst of the gray abyss that has been Chicago January sounds something like, “wHy iS tHiiS hApPeNinG tO mE??” And to replace that, I am shifting to:
Everything is happening FOR me.
I’ve seen this mantra posted by the celestial, wise, GORGEOUS @cafebinge on Instagram on more than one occasion. I say it to myself all the time now - when things aren’t going smoothly and I’m feeling victim-y, or even when things feel good. Everything is happening for me.
Relevant personal example: if I get a rejection email from a job that I applied to, that’s happening for me. I’m meant to work somewhere else that’s a better fit for me. Chelsea Handler mentioned on a podcast recently that the only way we will shake (what feels like) perpetual rejection is when we change how we respond to it. That hit for me, and prompted me to apply that ethos to any triggering stimuli. Now, whenever any sort of rejection-adjacent thing comes up, I feel grateful for the redirection; it takes me away from what isn’t mine, and brings me one step closer to what is.
One note here…yes, I still want to give myself permission to feel and not be a fucking robot and deny all negativity. I just find that there’s a lot more growth and movement forward when we opt to make a quicker transition out of self-inflicted victimhood.
If you’ve been feeling the gloom doom of winter weighing down your thoughts, consider trying this reframe on, wherever it makes sense for you. The best part about “everything is happening for me” is that you can make it make sense for almost anything that comes up in your mental. So why not try? It’s free, the only cost will be your attention and intention.
X 😊 X 😊
~Melli
