FRIENDS ARE MIRRORS
The majority of March was a very introspective month for me. I committed to a mental spring cleaning; I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol, spent a lot of time alone, saw an energy healer, and wrote whenever I could. I was kind of in my reclusive Emily Dickinson era?? If Emily Dickinson ever had a life coach and her tarot cards read.
But it also felt like a little bit of a flop era. Not a complete flop era, but the stillness did feel floppy (a little bit ironic a la Miss Morrisette, don’t you think). I knew I needed the down time, and I do feel like I gained some greater clarity by keeping to myself. I think it’s great to get as comfortable as possible with alone time. Philosophize in it! Romanticize with it!!
However, I think I was philosophizing in it a bit tew much toward the end. Do you ever get weird after spending a lot of time alone? By that I mean I was feeling a little in my head. I had conflicting feelings about it: I loved that I was more comfortable being alone with myself than ever, but I also could feel intrusive thoughts creeping in. Like, I was analyzing myself and overthinking in a not-cute way. It felt like a self-imposed Stockholm Syndrome-esque vibe? …dramatic, yes, but I was in full thespian DRAMA mode during this time, let’s rock with it.
While I enjoyed the solitude, I knew I needed to start seeing people again. I missed my friends! I watched a Jay Shetty x Trevor Noah interview during my solo dolo time, and Trevor Noah drew a comparison between friends and the horcruxes in Harry Potter (Hufflepuff girlies, paws up). He said that our friends in life are our horcruxes: we break ourselves into parts, and whenever we make meaningful connections, we give different parts of ourselves to these different friends. Each loved one holds different parts of us. The way Voldemort used horcruxes to come back to life, we can use our friends to do that for us, too.
That analogy gobSMACKed me in the face. Trevor Noah just put what I already knew to be true in different words: whenever I start to get lost in my head, I know seeing a close friend can help pull me out of my mental quicksand.
So when April came, I got back out there. I went on trips - first Hawaii, where my partner and I were lucky enough to spend a week with our dear friends while they celebrated their babymoon. The mix of the magic from our special friends with the beautiful landscape of Kauai…I felt restored in so many ways. Later in the month, we went to Coachella with friends that have become like family, and that ACTIVATED me. We basked in the sun, danced in the heat, and laughed our asses off together.
In between travel, I got coffees, went on walks, and ran errands with friends. Simple stuff, but I STG that all injected life back into my soul again. Time spent with my people makes me feel sharper, funnier– honestly smarter all around.
It’s officially May and here I am, out of my head and back into the world, showing up as I want to be!! After a spring of soul-searching and restoration, I’m feeling rejuvenated and ready for a summer of joy, creativity, and love. You know what they say…sometimes after the hardest flop comes the biggest slay. :-P
X 😊 X 😊
~Melli
